How To Woo A Reluctant Shuuhei Hisagi
by Nyoro
Summary: Shuuhei Hisagi leads an average life.  Un Fortunately for him, becomes the love interest of Yumichika Ayesagawa, who hasn't failed to seduce someone in over a month. But this time, Yumichika's in it for the long run. Poor guy doesn't stand a chance... AU
1. Chapter 1

How to Woo a Reluctant Shuuhei Hisagi

Written By Nyoro

A/N: HOWDY! Just starting my first story! Yaysies!! Well…I have noticed the sad sad sad lack of Shuuhei/Yumichika on this site… Seriously, guys. It's depressing. I'm not guaranteeing anything special with this story, either. ANYWAY! One thing you should know: My updates are irritatingly irregular. Please don't give up on me! I'll be doing my best but I do attend school. I need to keep my grades up and such. HOMEWORK ALWAYS COMES FIRST! (Unfortunately…)

Keep in mind:

ONE: I am a relatively new author.

TWO: This story will be AU!!

THREE: YAOI PEOPLE! YAOI YAOI YAOI!!!

FOUR: I DON'T OWN BLEACH!!

That's it! I appreciate constructive criticism a BUNCH! Enjoy…

_'Once upon a time, there was a teacher named Shuuhei Hisagi, and his life sucked.'_

_That's what I was thinking when Yumichika Ayesagawa first smiled at me from across the crowded lunchroom. Oh, I almost forgot. My name is Shuuhei Hisagi and I'm a student teacher at Karakura High. Rangiku Matsumoto keeps one for when she gets frustrated. I'm about the most frustrated person on earth right now… Allow me to tell you why._

_Reasons_

_Loads correcting to do_

_Kensei (my mentor) is ignoring me_

_Yumichika Ayesagawa has decided I'm his new target…_

_Allow me to explain number three. Yumichika is a student in my class. Every couple of weeks or so, he chooses a person to shower his affections upon. As soon as he gets what he wants (which is sex) he flutters away to his next target, which now is me. As if my life didn't suck ass enough… _

_ Matsumoto says always to end your entries on a positive note because it'll make you feel better. I'm finding this increasingly hard to do because, as I said before, my life sucks ass. So, on a positive note, Ayesagawa hasn't molested me or my sense of pride…yet. God dammit, my life really does suck ass._

End Journal Entry #1

Shuuhei Hisagi had decided when his student Yumichika Ayesagawa cornered him in his room the gods hated him.

"Sensei~!" Yumichika sang as he waltzed into Shuuhei's personal space bubble without a second thought, "What is your sexual orientation?"

Shuuhei's head snapped up as he blushed.

"Excuse me?!" he barked, "How is that your business, Ayesagawa?!"

Yumichika smiled and leaned down onto Shuuhei's desk so their noses were practically touching.

"I'm gauging the difficulty level of this particular…long-term project, so to speak," he whispered smirking.

"S-straight as a l-line," Shuuhei stuttered. Yumichika raised an eyebrow.

"Is that so, Sensei?" he breathed, delighted that the light pink dusting was slowly becoming a deeper shade of red, "We'll see if you make it to the end of the week that way."

Yumichika leaned forward and pressed his lips against Shuuhei's chastely.

Whoa.

WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA, THERE!

Shuuhei roared to life, snapping out of his Yumichika induced trance. Yumichika sighed and crossed his arms as he watched his teacher roll as far back as possible in his swivel chair. Shuuhei made an attempt to continue his correcting until his student sat atop the pile of papers, making the blood rush to his cheeks once more as his face became level with a rather attractive ass. Yumichika smirked.

"Like what you see, Sensei?" he purred. Shuuhei whirled his chair around and began typing on his computer, desperately trying to distract himself from the smirking reflection his eyes were drawn to as he typed.

'Aww, shit…' he thought as he met the gaze of the smirking student.

"Sensei is sure he's going to make this a _long-term_ project for me?" Yumichika asked, walking closer to the blushing teacher, "It's a good thing I don't procrastinate."

"Ayesagawa, please stop harassing my assistant teacher," a booming voice said from the doorway. Yumichika sighed.

"Of course, Muguruma-sensei," he replied, winking at the flustered student teacher before turning and saying, "Sensei, there are such things as curved lines. I suggest you get acquainted with them before the week's out."

Yumichika exited the room with a smirk.

…Silence…

"So… Ayesagawa's after your ass."

It was said as a statement.

That meant a hell of a lot of other people knew too.

…Shit…

"Uhh… I g-guess…" Shuuhei stammered, looking at Kensei, "I-"

He was cut short by his mentor's laughter.

"Tha-that's fuckin' hilarious!" Kensei stammered, wiping tears from his eyes. Shuuhei's expression was one of horror.

"You're not being very supportive!" he yelled.

"What am I supposed to say, huh? All I can offer is good luck with him, kid. He's as persistent as a damn door-to-door salesman. You'll have better luck getting Matsumoto-sensei _into _your bed than getting _out _of his."

Shuuhei allowed his head drop onto the desk.

"Don't let it get to ya, kid. Ya got an iron will. There's a slim chance you'll outlast him."

"Who's actually succeeded in doing that?"

"I think the longest someone's ever lasted was…a month."

"Well," he lamented, "it's official. I'm so screwed."

He had no idea how right he was.

…In the figurative _and_ literal sense…

_Hello, Journal. (Or should I say Muguruma-sensei. You say you won't read them. We all know you will.) My name is Yumichika Ayesagawa and I am in the process of wooing the assistant teacher in this class. (A.K.A. Shuuhei Hisagi.) I managed to make some progress with him. To think he blushed so much because of a simple kiss! (No tongue or anything. Maybe he's a virgin…) Rather adorable, if you ask me. But, then again, you can't ask anything. You are an inanimate object… Muguruma-sensei says we should at least write a good paragraph everyday. I'll tell you what, Muguruma-sensei; I'll do the work if you let Hisagi-sensei correct this one. _

_ I have decided that with Hisagi-sensei, I'll be trying to win his actual heart, not just his body. (As beautiful as that __**would**__ be alone.) He intrigues me; unlike the many faceless flings I've had in the past. I've begun noticing how many horridly two-dimensional characters there are in this school. Two-dimensional is primitive and ugly, two things that most definitely _do not_ describe the object of my affections. I look forward to exploring his fabulous body after this war with his feelings and body is won. Of course by then, he will have fallen for me. (That I guarantee.) _

_Signed,_

_Yumichika Ayesagawa_

End of Journal Entry # 1


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Howdy! I'm baaa~aaaack with another chapter! I'd like to thank those who alerted this!

Lily: Thank you! Heh heh, neither would I…

Gypsygrrl: Thanks a heap for the encouraging review! (I also agree with Kensei/Shuuhei. *creepy fangirl grin*) I'll try my best to keep my Yumi/Shuu as accurate as possible… *hopeful grin*

Enjoy~!

0o0

_Dear Gods, may I ask you one thing?_

_What the hell did I do to deserve this? Was it a slip-up in grading? Making a move on Matsumoto? (If that's the reason, why didn't you smite Iba?) Was it because I yelled at Kensei?! Why am I so…unlucky? I didn't put a 13 on my face for crying out loud! _

_The assault has begun and I can't even predict his next move! It goes from something as blatantly obvious as making an…incredibly __**inappropriate**__ implication in the middle of my class or something as subtle as a simple brush of his hand on mine! It has me so confused and messed up I actually snapped at Matsumoto. MATSUMOTO!!! It certainly doesn't help that my colleagues have started taking bets on how long I'll last. Renji bet one week (the bastard) and yet Kensei seems to think I'll last a whole two months. Matsumoto doesn't even care… I have a feeling she just wants to see me paired with another male… _

_The worst part is that Ayesagawa seems to think _**I'm**_ going to be the submissive one in the relationship! I admit, I may be a little…not aggressive but that doesn't mean I'll bottom to a guy I mistook for a girl at first glance!_

…_Oh shit… I'm actually considering the possibility of a relationship with my _**student**_! God dammit, why is he making this so hard?! _

_Positive point of this entry: …He hasn't molested me in public yet. And I found a penny on the side of the street. Good luck? I guess we'll see…_

End of Journal Entry #2

"A-ah! Madarame-kun? May I speak with you after class?" asked Shuuhei as the bell rang. Ikkaku Madarame raised an eyebrow but stayed.

"What can I do for you, Sensei?" the senior asked.

"You're friends with Ayesagawa, correct?"

"…What are you asking, Sensei?"

"I-I'm not exactly sure how to phrase this, but is there a way you could convince him to…choose another target?"

"…"

Then he started laughing.

…Why that little shit…

"…Are you laughing at me, Madarame?" Shuuhei asked twitching. Ikkaku calmed himself as he wiped a tear away.

"I'm afraid I can't do that," he replied.

"What?!" Shuuhei exclaimed, "Why not?"

"I've honestly never seen Yumi so excited about something. You can't expect me to discourage my best friend from pursuing his newest love interest," Ikkaku stated, "Sorry Sensei. It's not like Yumi treats his lovers badly or anything. I honestly think he's after more than your ass this time." Ikkaku looked at the clock and blanched.

"I should probably get going. Yumi's gonna be pissed… See ya, Hisagi-sensei. Sorry." Ikkaku grabbed his bag and left.

…Greeeeeaaaaat…

Then there was silence…

Shuuhei looked at the stack of papers he had to grade with dismay.

"You know, I wouldn't mind helping you with the correcting, Shuu-sensei," an all too familiar voice drawled.

Shuuhei felt a blush explode onto his face as he turned to face the bane of his very existence, Yumichika Ayesagawa.

"Ayesagawa, what are you doing here?"

The young man huffed, "I'm here to offer my…_services_."

"Wha-what are you implying?!" Shuuhei spluttered. Yumichika smiled softly.

"Whatever you interpret, I actually am here to help you out. That stack looks atrocious. Not even your natural beauty cancels it out. Do you really intend to take it on by yourself?" the senior asked, walking inside and taking a seat next to the teacher, "Do you have a key for these?"

"Who said you could help?!" the teacher-to-be barked.

Yumichika turned to look at Shuuhei and raised an eyebrow.

"Hisagi-sensei, be sensible. Muguruma-sensei already went home and you're here trying to correct this repugnant pile of papers alone?" the student asked. Shuuhei faltered before making an unhappy noise of acquiescence. Smiling happily, Yumichika bent down and kissed the irritated man on the mouth. He swept his tongue across the other's bottom lip, smiling when Shuuhei unconsciously parted his lips. Yumichika pulled away, taking in the blush that was set prettily against scarred and tattooed cheeks. Shuuhei opened his eyes. (Funny, he didn't remember closing them…)

"Thanks for trusting me, Shuuhei-sensei, but I really should be getting home. I don't mean to confuse you or anything, of course. I truly feel something for you," he said as he flounced out of the room. Shuuhei blinked.

…Oh shit…

…Oh _shit_…

"God dammit!" Shuuhei cursed.

"Hey kid, forgot my keys…" Kensei's familiar voice said as the silver haired man entered the room. He stopped short. Shuuhei glared up at him, annoyance written on his face.

"Ayesagawa?"

"Ayesagawa. Kissed. Me."

"Didn't that happen last week-"

"With _tongue_."

"…Uh…Oh…You wanna…talk about it or somethin'?"

Shuuhei stared at Kensei incredulously.

"Uh, no. I'm good…"

Kensei rolled his eyes.

"Look kid, I'm no good at comforting people. You should know that by now…"

Shuuhei let out a small laugh.

"I know that. But I…I actually kinda liked it… The kiss, I mean…" he whispered, "Is that as taboo and cheesy to you as it is to me?"

"Uh…Yeah. It kinda is…"

"…Damn…"

_Dear Journal,_

_Today was a good day. _

_Shuuhei is slowly becoming more and more accepting _**and **_receptive to my advances. If this keeps up I'll be able to make him fall in love with me before the month's end! Ikkaku was actually somewhat useful today. (Surprising, isn't it, Muguruma-sensei?) Apparently Shuuhei fears my sleeping with him and then leaving, seeing Ikkaku felt the need to tell him about how well I treated my lovers._

…_I will never understand that boy…_

_I apologize for the short entry, but I really must be getting to my homework. Kuchiki-sensei has no mercy on us in history…_

_Yours truly,_

_Yumichika Ayesagawa_

End of Journal Entry #2


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: OMFG! Where the heck have I been? Sorry sorry sorry sorry. I'm not entirely sure where this story is taking me. This idea hit me in the middle of rehearsal for the play I'm currently in. I feel like Kensei should be paired with someone as well, the problem being I am not very knowledgeable with Kensei being paired with a person who is not Shuuhei, who is quite obviously taken… If you have any suggestions, please leave a review or some sort of way of communicating to me what pairing you think would be nice/cute/fun/cracky/plausible. (Personally, I think if it weren't for Shuuhei, Kensei would reproduce by spores…) Anything goes!

Gypsygrrl: Yumichika would like to keep it that way… :D Don't worry, I've figured out what will most likely happen with those two, so it will take longer. SHUUHEI WILL FIGHT FOR HIS VIRTUE. (And Kensei will be roped in with him.) This is officially dedicated to you!

Lala to the power of 2: Of course not! (Nice metaphor by the way. Guilty of being spawned by two L.A. teacher's…) Thanks for providing me some inspiration to get my butt in gear and write this chapter…

blackangelxvikkix: Thank you for taking the time to review! I'm new at writing Kensei so I'm a bit worried with him, but if he get's too OOC, take out the metaphorical tomatoes and leftovers… I'll bring my umbrella.

PearlGirl179: I'm glad I made you laugh! (I hope you didn't get caught though. Not everybody knows that yaoi doesn't stand for young attractive outgoing intellectuals… *winknudge* If you don't get it, look up Greg Ayres funny yaoi story on YouTube…) Hope you like this chapter!

Once you finish the chapter, you'll notice I didn't give Yumi a journal entry. I chose not to simply because he didn't really come in at all. (And for some reason, I have a hard time writing his thoughts… Meh. Unless I really suck at writing him and someone points it out, I'll keep trying.) He'll definitely have something to say next chapter. Enjoy!

_I believe Ayesagawa has moved into phase two of his battle plan… The first week, he switched between minimal contact and soft touches to outright leering and a tiny bit of…well-disguised groping. _

_Good god, I feel like such a pervert writing this down…_

_After the…incident…a few days ago, he began...ignoring me. Let me tell you, IT IS NOT OKAY! I have no battle plan, Rangiku has placed her bet (next week! __NEXT WEEK__!), and Kensei…well, let's just say Kensei's had his hands full keeping the principal off my and Ayesagawa's ass. I'm jumpy and paranoid whenever I see him and my heart feels like its about to jump out of my chest, I'm so nervous. Madarame-kun was no help at all! If anything, he's supportive of both sides of this battle… I wish he would choose a side, though… (Preferably mine) and stop giving us both advice that doesn't work. "Admitting defeat," and, "Getting wasted" would not help my problem AT ALL… If anything, I feel as though Yumichika might show up and take __advantage of me__ and-_

…_Ayesagawa… I meant Ayesagawa._

_From now on, I'm writing in pencil…_

_Positive point of this entry: I forced Kensei to help me with that shitload of correcting I had to do. Hahahahaha! _

_Shuuhei: 1_

_Kensei: 0 _

Kensei Muguruma was not an easy man to surprise, and yet Yumichika Ayesagawa managed to boggle his mind every single time he seduced his victim.

So, naturally, Kensei was not surprised, but astonished, when he walked into his classroom only to find bouquet after bouquet of flowers, every single arrangement addressed to Shuuhei. (Or at least he figured, 'Shuuke ;)', meant Shuuhei.)

…Ayesagawa had really outdone himself this time…

He shook his head and went to sit at his desk, sneezing when he passed a particularly fragrant arrangement of gladiolus. Kensei raised an eyebrow as he looked around the room.

…He would deny it if confronted, but flowers were always a passion of his. (Not willingly, of course, he grew up with…mostly women and gay men…)

"Gladiolus: Sincere. White Camellia: Adorable. Carnation: …First love."

Kensei's eyes widened.

…Holy shit… This guy was either serious or this was a freaky as fuck coincidence…

"Kensei, I'm-whoa-"

Shuuhei stopped in the doorway, his coffee falling from his hand. The silver haired man turned and raised an eyebrow.

"It's for you."

"Kensei, I'm flattered, but I don't feel anything for you other than platonic friendship…"

Kensei snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Kid, I'm not the one who gave them to you," he growled, gently smacking Shuuhei upside the head, "It was that Ayesagawa kid."

Shuuhei chuckled good-naturedly.

"C'mon, Kensei. It's practically a jungle in here! Flowers cost lot's and lot's of money. I would know. This had to have been at least a small fortune."

"Ayesagawa's family own a flower shop," Kensei stated, "Bet if you went and got a flower dictionary thingy you'd be enlightened."

"…Why the hell would he go so far. Logic-"

"Denial ain't just a river in Egypt, _Shuuke_," Kensei teased, smirking all the while. Shuuhei glared.

"Do NOT start that. I swear to god, if I hear that come out of ANYBODY'S mouth I'm gonna-"

"Puh-lease, kid. As if you need anymore to deal with. I mean, the only thing worse than that embarrassing nickname getting out is you getting in a relationship with someone who isn't that pixie. Imagine how they'd react!" he pointed out. Shuuhei groaned and let his head hang.

Wait.

Relationship? Wheel's slowly started turning and the devious evil being inside of Shuuhei began working.

"Kensei, my _dear_, _**dear**_, _**dear**_, friend…" he purred.

Oh shit…

"How much are you willing to do to win that bet?"

Oh _shit_.

"Don't go there, Shuuhei. I ain't gonna-"

"You bet what? Fifty, a hundred?"

Why?

"…"

"I swear to god, Kensei if you do this one little favor for me, I will forever stay out of your love life."

"…I'm not havin' sex with you, if this is what it's about."

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Just some public displays of affection and a teeny, tiny kiss. InfrontofAyesagawa."

"Aren't you uncomfortable with this?" Kensei asked, squirming a bit.

"I honestly wouldn't care if you were a monkey at the moment, Kensei. I need some time to sort out what I think I feel and what I actually feel…" the student-teacher said.

Kensei gulped at the face Shuuhei made.

'-existentlovelife!' he chanted as he awkwardly patted Shuuhei on the back.

"Fine," he grumbled, "But I swear, if Rangiku hears or sees anything, ANYTHING, I will kill you with a paper clip."

Shuuhei grinned and hugged him happily.

"You are- Kensei I- Thank you! Thankyouthankyouthankyou!"

Kensei coughed and uncomfortably returned the embrace.

"Yeah… I- yeah."

They separated, Shuuhei finding the floor very interesting. (Had that line been there all this time?) Kensei smoothed out his clothes and cleared his throat.

"I better go and…get rid of some of these flowers…"

"Ah! Yeah… I-I guess you might as well just put them in my car."

"Yeah, 'kay. Wanna do it now?" Kensei asked.

Anything to get rid of this awkward as hell silence…

"Sure, you grab the white ones and I'll grab those," Shuuhei directed smiling, holding the carnations and gladiolas.

'Come and get me now, Ayesagawa. I'm ready for action.'

Somewhere in a quaint flower shop, Yumichika Ayesagawa sneezed twice.

End of Journal Entry #3


End file.
